Every day I interact with people for whom English is not their mother tongue. I am a Director of a non-profit foundation which has a Board of seven directors, speaking four different languages. I am also a member of a team of thirty people from 16 different countries, all working together on developing software. A number of the team use translation tools to facilitate communication in English while others of us have gained skills in reading other languages.

In the last few days I have been cursing Microsoft Word. I have written two press releases for two open source software development projects I am involved with and have run into the problems that can occur when using different language settings. One press release is in US English, with American spelling, the other is in UK English and also translated into French. Moving between documents has resulted in some interesting spelling corrections being offered by the spell checker. I was having a whinge about the spell checker to a colleague and he sent me this little ditty. It amused me so much I thought I would share it with you.

It’s that time of year again folks. The silly season is upon us as many make preparations to be with friends and family for Christmas. For some of us, Christmas is not a good time of year and my thoughts and best wishes go out to everyone who finds this season difficult. I do not attend Christmas functions or do the “Christmas thing” as this is a time of great sadness for me and my family. However, while my Christmas ended when my husband was killed on the roads and laid to rest on Christmas Eve, I am still very pleased to see so many enjoying this season and our summer weather. Please take care on the roads.

I was told about a great new toy for the kiddies at Christmas. Something fun for kids to play with - a Security Check-in toy, complete with conveyor belt for screening play luggage and a metal detector. Surely, this is some kind of gag I thought, but oh no! It really is a toy on offer from Playmobil USA.

Sometimes, it is just not possible to reuse an item in the way it was originally intended to be used. Disposal of obsolete and non-repairable computer equipment is an increasing problem around the world. We have a computer recycling scheme starting in Palmerston North before too long, and there are schemes already in place for redistributing unwanted (but still usable) computers, but this is a novel idea for reusing a computer monitor…

While walking down the street, a politician is hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven, and he is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see such a high official around these parts, you see, and so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem,” says the politician, “just let me in” .

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from ‘on high.’ What we do is have you spend a day in hell, and a day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”